After being part of the “work force” for about two decades now, there is very little that remains with me from my formal education. I’m sure the conditioning that I got through my education is a strong part of me, but as far as actual lessons go, I’ve forgotten much more than I remember. One thing that has stayed with me from one of my communication courses in my undergrad was how people tend to gravitate to others who share similarities with them. It even holds true down to such superficial things as what we look like and our height. So as I walked with a similarly heighted, good friend of mine, and one of my most significant conversation partners, it struck me how he would say hello to every person we passed, regardless of whether they would say it first or respond to his greeting. There are many influences for him to do this. It may not sound like much to anyone that comes from a small town, but in a bigger metropolis it’s generally an uncommon practice. Most people tend to pass each other and purposely avoid any kind of contact. But as time has passed, and we have continued our walks and talks, I noticed a trend. Those that most naturally, even amicably, responded, often tended to have a dog with them. It started to make sense. Dogs, unless trained to do otherwise, look forward to greeting other dogs as they pass each other. So, as my friend and I are both dog people, it made sense that we should follow suit of those friendly canines that are so gracious with others. We are naturally, through association, raised by those associations. As the NBA playoffs begin and as our program’s offseason training continues, it’s easy to see how our associations either raise us, or lower us.
I was one of those that lamented the rise of the super teams. When players would join forces at the end of their career, such as Barkley and Drexler joining Olajuwon and the Rockets, or Gary Payton, and Karl Malone joining Kobe and Shaq, it was fairly palatable. But when Lebron and Bosh, at the peaks of their careers, joined Wade in Miami, it felt like they were cheating. That super team then gave rise to a super team trend. Durant joined a 73-win Warriors squad. Anthony Davis joined Lebron in LA. Durant, once more, joined Booker and Beal in Phoenix, and the list goes on. This year’s playoffs, have a host of these types of teams. But it makes sense. Players want to play with others that are on the same mission as them. They don’t want to be surrounded by others that have to be convinced of truths that they know to be self-evident. They don’t want to have to drag others against their will to the gym, the weight room, etc… They, like people of similar height or looks, like dog people who say hello to each other, bask in surrounding themselves with others that they can see themselves in. But as much as we want to surround ourselves with others that are on the same mission as us, as much as we bask in what we see as positive in others because we see it as positive in ourselves, the same holds true for less positive behaviours as well.
Sayings like, “birds of a feather, flock together,” and “misery loves company” come to mind when I see students or player surrounding themselves with people that similarly aren’t inclined to be their best selves. It’s always the same kids who skip class together, that despite the strong opposing statistical evidence, assume everyone skips. Similarly, it’s always the same players, who surround themselves with others players that don’t take care of their books, that make excuses for not getting in the weight room, that don’t get in the gym to sharpen their skills or develop their weaknesses. Unfortunately, just as we can be raised by those we surround ourselves with, many people allow themselves to be lowered to the lowest common denominator. It feels easier, and practically IS easier, to not do, or do less. But that doesn’t mean it’s truly what a person or player actually wants. Often times, they just find themselves trapped in a pitfall and before long they’ve unknowingly turned it into a bad habit they can’t seem to escape.
Ideally, players surround themselves with the” cream of the crop” from the beginning and never have to climb out of one of those ruts or pitfalls. Finding others that are motivated to the same end as you is a blessing, and if you have that, count yourself lucky. But we all fall at times, and when we do, sometimes all we need is a push, or a lifeline to get us back on track. Those pushes, and lifelines are all around us, if we have the eyes to see them. They may not come in the form we seek or desire but they’re there. They’re there when someone rides us to get in the weight room. They’re there when we see others getting in the gym to shoot before classes start. And while they are all around us, it is always up to us to grab hold of that outreached hand.