Family. Such a simple and common term. And yet, like trying to define Love, very elusive. In most cases, if you were to search up a definition of family you would get some form of interpretation of it based on a legal agreement, be it marriage or adoption, and/or some form of genetic connection. It’s unfortunately limiting, and a distant understanding from the lived reality of so many. At St. Pat’s, we often use the term “Irish Family” to refer to community we are continuously building with our students, staff, and the wider community. It’s a bit of a funny, eyebrow raising thing for a community of people that come dominatingly from the Caribbean, the Middle East, and South East Asia, along with many other parts of the world, but ironically, probably least of all, Ireland. In our basketball program, we have lived out the virtue of family as the embodiment of what that “Irish Family” is. While COVID played some serious lockdown defense on our ability to do so, the further and further we get from it, and its restrictions, the more our family returns to be what is has been cultivated to be. The past month, as a snapshot of what family means to us, illustrates that vividly.
Family, means first and foremost, our door is always, purposely, consciously, left open to each other. We don’t lock the door to our family. We look to include, instead of exclude. We invite in, rather than hold out. In some cases that has meant literally inviting our players and coaches to rest, eat and be in a coach’s home, while waiting between tournament games. In other cases, it means gathering former players and teammates to reunite to share a meal, tell old stories of what was and catch up on what is. In other cases, it’s alumni using their voices to gather as many as possible to support the current team as they inch closer and closer to meeting the program’s standards and expectations. Family means our arms are always open to each other because we want you here, as much as you are able to be.
Family also means recognizing the needs we have, and being willing to ask for help meeting them. Sometimes that means asking friends and family by marriage to step in and help coach because not only can no one coach alone to meet the needs of our program, but no one person can be all things to all of the needs of both the players or coaches. Sometimes that is as simple as asking members of our family to help drive the team to an away tournament. Sometimes it means asking for food because a player was about to try and play on an empty stomach after not eating all day. Sometimes it means asking for help in meeting the financial requirements of the team. Family means our honest humility is not only accepted, it is welcomed, even desired.
Family means we do what we can to look out for each other. There is an endless number of ways our program lives out that virtuous family trait. The number of things members of our program have done to support each other, in small and big ways is nearly inexhaustible. Just recently, it’s an alumni reaching out to university coaches to let them know about a talent they shouldn’t let through slip somewhere else. In another case, it was a recent alumni, unprompted, bringing Gatorade to the team for a game and asking it to be distributed to players that embodied the hard work and grit the legacy of our program is built on. Over history it has even meant that players bring food to team study halls before practice to make sure everyone has what was needed to be all that they can be, both on and off the court. Our family has always looked out for each other, never asking for recognition. Only doing so because they knew that was not only the right thing to do, but something they could do.
Family means broadening the reach of our family values, as far as we can. It means former players being excited to come back and offer what they can to the current iteration of our team. We are blessed, fortunate, and grateful to have different players, from recent years, to a decade ago and more, come back to help coach, or just come back to speak to the team or to players individually. We are proud to see former players raising their own children with the values our family lives out. Sometimes even reaching out to coaches or teammates for a bit of direction when needed. We are proud to see our family, former players out in the community coaching with our family values, leading camps to help a whole generation of players try and realize their own dreams. Our family stands tall by reaching its arms wide to lift others up through this game that bonds us together.
Our family might not look like a common understanding of family. We are more than at peace with that. We’re PROUD of it. That’s who we are at St. Pat’s – uncommon, exceptional. It’s part of our identity. We’re “something else”. And true to our family values, All are welcome here.
Patti K says
St Pat’s has a unique and deep sense of family – Admin, custodian, teachers, support staff, students, families of students, alumni and their families – all identify as part of the St Pat’s family. It is rare and valuable. As a family member and friend of staff I too have a vested interest in seeing St. Pat’s thrive. We need more school’s like it.