In the mid 1100s, a French Abbot, Bernard de Clairvaux, is famously attributed to saying “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”. Got your attention now? Of course, the idea of going to hell is a metaphor. In sports it may mean calamity, turmoil, or failure. So, when a player told me, not for the first time, that he intended to complete the jump program this offseason to add to his athleticism, to improve his game, to be a better version of himself, I felt it was my obligation to make him aware of his pattern of good intentions. Everyone wants to see themselves in the best light possible – maybe that’s why when so many are commonly asked in a job interview what their best and worst qualities are, they frequently cite being a perfectionist for both. But we are often not the image we have of ourselves. Even those that are self-deprecating, usually don’t have an accurate view of the reality of themselves. Our fragile egos won’t allow us to believe that the parts of us that are less than perfectly ideal, truly are a part of who we are. If they did, in an effort to be more than the worst parts of ourselves, our individual growth would likely be a lot more pronounced. If we are able to bring the dark parts of ourselves into the light, isn’t it logical that the darkness will disappear? So in an attempt to truly help this young athlete and illuminate things for him, I tried to find the words that would be most digestible to him to accept that his good intentions were what have actually been holding him back. Fortunately, I have his trust, and so far, based on the changes he’s made, it seems to have been effective. There may be light at the end of this tunnel yet!
The problem with good intentions is that they are a promise for “one day”. They alleviate any present stress or anxiety about making the changes needed, instead shelving those scary changes for a future, undetermined, date that they’ll never be held accountable to. That allows us to continue believing the fairy tales we tell ourselves, about ourselves. “One day” is an aloof, undetermined time – and we, the “one day” culprits, can go on believing we are all our egos want to believe about ourselves. But time, the measurement of space between events, unfortunately, continues moving forward. And as it does, that “one day” slips further and further away until “one day” is replaced with “I could have”, or “if I really wanted to”, or “if I had made the time” or whichever other excuse our egos want to make to sooth themselves that they are still the person they want to believe they are. In contrast, if we take “one day” and place it in front of a mirror, we may actually get somewhere when it sees itself as “day one”.
“Day One” is “One day’s” antithesis. Its nemesis. The yang to its yin. It hears Time’s looming death rattle in the distance, always fearing it closer than it may actually be. So it writes its good intentions down on paper. It says them out loud that someone hold those words accountable. And it takes its first steps – whether its ready or not, whether the outcome is guaranteed or not, whether its ego whispers quietly in its ear or is booming over a megaphone, trying to convince it that “one day” is the safer, better approach. But when “day one” arrives, the ego departs. “Day one” may stumble, it may fall, or maybe even just need a break, but “day one” is a totally different beast than “one day”. It may not get to the destination of its intentions on the first try, in reality it’s likely it won’t, but it will set its feet moving, one in front of the other. At that point, the universe, with it’s absolute laws, as noted by Isaac Newton, make the arrival at its destination inevitable, as “a body in motion, stays in motion unless acted upon by another force”.
This is not the first “day one” for this young athlete. He’s been here before. As I noted, he’s had a number of “day ones”. His feet are already in motion. Maybe he just needed someone to point that out to him and this time will be different. Maybe not, maybe this won’t be his last “day one”. His ego will leap on each failure, trying to get him to return to “one day”. But each “day one” he’s attempted continues to build his confidence, and his resolve. He’s experienced enough that have led to a day two. Some of those day twos have led to day threes. Right now, he is nearing day 11 or 13, depending on how you count. For him, he has a goal. One that has been written down. One he has boldly said out loud. One he’s being held accountable to – to replace his “one day” with “day 56”. He’s on his way there. He may still not get there this time, and that’s okay – he’s seen the light, and knows the direction he’s headed – as far away from “one day” as Newton and his feet will take him.